If you want to have a hello you must first say goodbye!
I got a sms that said that He was in Berlin. I thought at first that my friend was joking but it turned out that she was not! All my friends got together on skype to talk to each other and we were talking that maybe someone was making it up but it turned out that it did not. One of our friends had talked to him the same day and the first thing he asked was if he knew where I was. He gave me the number and I called. I could not believe it! It was him and he was in Berlin, the city he had left 23 years ago!
I asked him some private questions because I wanted to be sure if it was him. He was! I cried, I laughed, I sang, I was just in heaven. He wanted to see me and I was so unsure, I did not look the same as 23 years ago, I had a much fuller figure and it was hard on my self esteem. But he told me that the only thing he wanted was to hold me because I have been the reason that he is still alive. I did not understand why he said so but he would tell me later.
I told him that I was going out with someone but we were on the first step of getting to know each other. He became jealous! I said that neither he or I could be jealous because he was married! At least he stopped acting jealous. We remembered a lot of things that night, I think I only slept 3 hours but I was high on love, all this feelings I had, where taking a walk in my body and I felt as I was 20 again.
Since I worked I had to plan the trip very carefully, I booked a flight to a city in Germany and since he was going that weekend to that city too he told me in what hotel he was in.
I booked a hotelroom in the same hotel and one friday morning I went of to the airport. I could not believe it that I was going to see him, that later that day I could hold him in my arms.
I arrived at the hotel and slept a few hours, we had contact through the cell phone, he was alredy in the same town. I asked him what floor and he told me. That was mine floor too!!! How big is the chance that we where booked on the same floor??!!
I took a shower and waited, I went to buy a bottle of wine and something to eat. I went back to the hotel and about 1/2 hour later someone knocked on the door. I could see him through the eyehole, and I could see him, he was just on the other side of the door! So many things went through my mind in that second. I opened and he came in. He had something with him. I closed the door and then he just held me in his arms and just held me, the only thing he said was my name over and over again. It felt so good but I was nervous and unsure, I do not know how long he held me but then he looked at him. He looked just the same, he was still that young man that I felt in love with so many years ago. He looked at me and smile than his grip tightened and he kissed me, very intense and long. I kissed him back. It was as if I had kissed him the day before! Nothing had changed, we were in our eyes still the same. It was a wonderful feeling, just holding him and kissing him felt so right and intense. This was what I had dreamed and longed for all these years! It took not long until the feeling became to powerful and we made love, and even that felt not strange at all! It all felt so right! I can not describe it better, it was just that it was ment to be.
Kissing and holding him seemed so familiar. I have never felt that with anyone and probably never will.
We talked all night through, we laughed, we drank wine, made love again, talked and fell asleep together, he holding me, never wanting to let go.
Sometime in the night he woke up screaming, I did not understand, I tried to calm him but I understood that he had nightmares. He had lived through so much that he probably has PTSD but where he comes from it is a sin to show weakness and he would never shows that side to anyone.
The next morning he had a scheduled sightseeing tour and I told him to go, I would try to get some sleep, because he did not let me sleep last night. He went and I fell asleep. Hours later I woke up, it was about noon so I went to town to do some shopping, eat something and took a walk. I had been in that city before so it was no problem to find my way and since I talk german fluently I had no problem to communicate.
I took a walk and all of the sudden a black big dog, like a labrador, came up to me, the owner called but he did not listen to the owner. The dog came to me waggling his tail and licking my hand. I do not know why that dog did that but I took it as a sign that I was radiating love and hapiness and living in the moment.
I got back to the hotel and later he came to my hotelroom. We talked for hours and that is when he told me what had happened to him. A few years back he was arrested and was put in a concentrationcamp, he was accused of being a spy, they had no proof but the merely suspicion made him guilty, he endured 5 years in that camp, endured abuse, hunger, death, sickness, people who died in his arms, people who did not survive. He told me the only thing that kept him going was the thought of seeing me again. I was the only thing that he dreamed about, that was pure and that he knew that I loved him. That my love for him would never change and it never has!
He was injured and they told him that they would have to amputate his limp but he said no, that this wound would heal by his own power. In this camp he prayed to God, he, who did not believe at all, was now a believer, even though he would never admit that to anyone.
I understood why the psychic I consulted did not "reach him". He was in that camp and he had to close his energy to keep him safe.
It was very hard to know what he had to endure through all this years. He told me that his wife back then, when he was sent to prison she divorced him saying that she would never stay married to a spy, a traitor of the country. Years later he was released and when he got home he discovered that he had no wife, no children, no home. Everything was gone.
One of his siblings took him in and he lived there for about a year. He had remarried again and had a child who at that time was 7 or 8.
The weekend was over far too fast, it was sunday morning and I had to check out to get to the bus to the airport. When it was time to say goodbye we just held each other, no one said anything and I started crying. I said that he should never forget that I love him, I have loved him for 23 years and I will love him after death and beyond. He began crying aswell, he said that he loved me, that he had never loved a woman the way he loves me and I should wait for him, for one day he will return and then we will be together.
Before he left I gave him a cristal, I told him to have it with him all the time and it will help him. I said also that if something happened to him, that he should come to me in spirit. He said that he would do that, and he kissed me again and then he opened the door and was gone. I began packing my things, I could not hold back the tears, but I was going home to my kids and my dog and that would ease the pain a little bit.
It was a hard trip back home and I cried a lot, I did not care if anyone saw me, so what , if they can not handle a person crying it is not my problem.
He was still in Germany two more weeks so I could talk to him everyday but I knew that he had to go home a certain day. He called be before he had to leave the cell phone with his friend and he sang to me. He sang "I just called to say I love you" from Stevie Wonder. No one has ever done something so romantic for me!
He would be staying in another country for a week and than he would return. He got a cellphone and I could call him.
The last night for him was now approching and he said that he would call and he did, he said that it will be the last time for a long time but that I should never forget that he loves me, he was crying and I know what agony he was going through because he was leaving all that behind what he wanted and he was going back to country that he did not like. The only thing he cared about was his little child. And that is the only reason why he went back.
Since that day I have not spoken to him or heard anything about him. No letter no proof of life, but I know that he is alive because I know that if something happens, he will let me know.
No you wonder how this relationship can still be after so long. But it´s not the time that matters but the way we feel for each other. He still sees me as the 23 year old girl from back than and that I have not aged a bit, it was the same for me, He looked as handsome as always.
I believe that he and I have a bond from before we came to this incarnation. We were supposed to be together and to be apart. The plan is to get together and the separate and live paralell lifes, learn, grow, live, expirience and then meet again and see what has become of us, what do we feel for each other. We have now separated again but this time I do not feel devastated, left alone.
My wish was granted: I wanted to see him again and the Universe granted me that wish and I am thankful and if I would die tomorrow I would not be sad because my wish was fulfilled. It was and what a wish it was!
I am thankful to the Creator/Light for being there for me.
Namaste!
Nessum dorma_ Luciano Pavarotti
http://youtu.be/xs-p1oEvuGg
I asked him some private questions because I wanted to be sure if it was him. He was! I cried, I laughed, I sang, I was just in heaven. He wanted to see me and I was so unsure, I did not look the same as 23 years ago, I had a much fuller figure and it was hard on my self esteem. But he told me that the only thing he wanted was to hold me because I have been the reason that he is still alive. I did not understand why he said so but he would tell me later.
I told him that I was going out with someone but we were on the first step of getting to know each other. He became jealous! I said that neither he or I could be jealous because he was married! At least he stopped acting jealous. We remembered a lot of things that night, I think I only slept 3 hours but I was high on love, all this feelings I had, where taking a walk in my body and I felt as I was 20 again.
Since I worked I had to plan the trip very carefully, I booked a flight to a city in Germany and since he was going that weekend to that city too he told me in what hotel he was in.
I booked a hotelroom in the same hotel and one friday morning I went of to the airport. I could not believe it that I was going to see him, that later that day I could hold him in my arms.
I arrived at the hotel and slept a few hours, we had contact through the cell phone, he was alredy in the same town. I asked him what floor and he told me. That was mine floor too!!! How big is the chance that we where booked on the same floor??!!
I took a shower and waited, I went to buy a bottle of wine and something to eat. I went back to the hotel and about 1/2 hour later someone knocked on the door. I could see him through the eyehole, and I could see him, he was just on the other side of the door! So many things went through my mind in that second. I opened and he came in. He had something with him. I closed the door and then he just held me in his arms and just held me, the only thing he said was my name over and over again. It felt so good but I was nervous and unsure, I do not know how long he held me but then he looked at him. He looked just the same, he was still that young man that I felt in love with so many years ago. He looked at me and smile than his grip tightened and he kissed me, very intense and long. I kissed him back. It was as if I had kissed him the day before! Nothing had changed, we were in our eyes still the same. It was a wonderful feeling, just holding him and kissing him felt so right and intense. This was what I had dreamed and longed for all these years! It took not long until the feeling became to powerful and we made love, and even that felt not strange at all! It all felt so right! I can not describe it better, it was just that it was ment to be.
Kissing and holding him seemed so familiar. I have never felt that with anyone and probably never will.
We talked all night through, we laughed, we drank wine, made love again, talked and fell asleep together, he holding me, never wanting to let go.
Sometime in the night he woke up screaming, I did not understand, I tried to calm him but I understood that he had nightmares. He had lived through so much that he probably has PTSD but where he comes from it is a sin to show weakness and he would never shows that side to anyone.
The next morning he had a scheduled sightseeing tour and I told him to go, I would try to get some sleep, because he did not let me sleep last night. He went and I fell asleep. Hours later I woke up, it was about noon so I went to town to do some shopping, eat something and took a walk. I had been in that city before so it was no problem to find my way and since I talk german fluently I had no problem to communicate.
I took a walk and all of the sudden a black big dog, like a labrador, came up to me, the owner called but he did not listen to the owner. The dog came to me waggling his tail and licking my hand. I do not know why that dog did that but I took it as a sign that I was radiating love and hapiness and living in the moment.
I got back to the hotel and later he came to my hotelroom. We talked for hours and that is when he told me what had happened to him. A few years back he was arrested and was put in a concentrationcamp, he was accused of being a spy, they had no proof but the merely suspicion made him guilty, he endured 5 years in that camp, endured abuse, hunger, death, sickness, people who died in his arms, people who did not survive. He told me the only thing that kept him going was the thought of seeing me again. I was the only thing that he dreamed about, that was pure and that he knew that I loved him. That my love for him would never change and it never has!
He was injured and they told him that they would have to amputate his limp but he said no, that this wound would heal by his own power. In this camp he prayed to God, he, who did not believe at all, was now a believer, even though he would never admit that to anyone.
I understood why the psychic I consulted did not "reach him". He was in that camp and he had to close his energy to keep him safe.
It was very hard to know what he had to endure through all this years. He told me that his wife back then, when he was sent to prison she divorced him saying that she would never stay married to a spy, a traitor of the country. Years later he was released and when he got home he discovered that he had no wife, no children, no home. Everything was gone.
One of his siblings took him in and he lived there for about a year. He had remarried again and had a child who at that time was 7 or 8.
The weekend was over far too fast, it was sunday morning and I had to check out to get to the bus to the airport. When it was time to say goodbye we just held each other, no one said anything and I started crying. I said that he should never forget that I love him, I have loved him for 23 years and I will love him after death and beyond. He began crying aswell, he said that he loved me, that he had never loved a woman the way he loves me and I should wait for him, for one day he will return and then we will be together.
Before he left I gave him a cristal, I told him to have it with him all the time and it will help him. I said also that if something happened to him, that he should come to me in spirit. He said that he would do that, and he kissed me again and then he opened the door and was gone. I began packing my things, I could not hold back the tears, but I was going home to my kids and my dog and that would ease the pain a little bit.
It was a hard trip back home and I cried a lot, I did not care if anyone saw me, so what , if they can not handle a person crying it is not my problem.
He was still in Germany two more weeks so I could talk to him everyday but I knew that he had to go home a certain day. He called be before he had to leave the cell phone with his friend and he sang to me. He sang "I just called to say I love you" from Stevie Wonder. No one has ever done something so romantic for me!
He would be staying in another country for a week and than he would return. He got a cellphone and I could call him.
The last night for him was now approching and he said that he would call and he did, he said that it will be the last time for a long time but that I should never forget that he loves me, he was crying and I know what agony he was going through because he was leaving all that behind what he wanted and he was going back to country that he did not like. The only thing he cared about was his little child. And that is the only reason why he went back.
Since that day I have not spoken to him or heard anything about him. No letter no proof of life, but I know that he is alive because I know that if something happens, he will let me know.
No you wonder how this relationship can still be after so long. But it´s not the time that matters but the way we feel for each other. He still sees me as the 23 year old girl from back than and that I have not aged a bit, it was the same for me, He looked as handsome as always.
I believe that he and I have a bond from before we came to this incarnation. We were supposed to be together and to be apart. The plan is to get together and the separate and live paralell lifes, learn, grow, live, expirience and then meet again and see what has become of us, what do we feel for each other. We have now separated again but this time I do not feel devastated, left alone.
My wish was granted: I wanted to see him again and the Universe granted me that wish and I am thankful and if I would die tomorrow I would not be sad because my wish was fulfilled. It was and what a wish it was!
I am thankful to the Creator/Light for being there for me.
Namaste!
Nessum dorma_ Luciano Pavarotti
http://youtu.be/xs-p1oEvuGg
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