El que se va sin que lo echen, vuelve sin que lo llamen!

"He, who leaves without being told to, comes back to you, even if you did not call him"

That is my translation of the spanish proverb, which is very much , what happened here.

About a month ago I was browsing the internet and through FB when I remembered that I once had a
boyfriend, 17 years ago. called S, aswell. I thought, I would give it a try to find him to see what ever happened to him. I searched Google and the decided to search FB aswell. When I started to type his name I could not breath!
My S had taken me of the "black list" and could now see what was happening in my life
again!
Since we are not friends anymore he could not see everything but I got very nervous since
I wondered what he could see. The only thing  he could see where my profile pictures and some status of where I was or have been the last year.
Suddenly he "liked" a picture of me! I was not prepared for that! It was more than I could handle! All the months without knowing anything about him and seeing his picture began to turn me around and all was coming back to me. Even though I knew that he had not forgotten me I felt very sad and I could not feel joy for this because I remembered why he in the first place had put me on his black list, because he could not commit to me and for what he felt due to his problems with his ex. He could not stand up for himself and probably will not in the future either.

I have always been a person that can talk about everything and after a week I wrote him an e-mail wishing him good luck in Barcelona since he was going to compete there. He wrote back and was very "normal" in his response and thanked me saying that he does not think that he would win but apologized for the long absence.
I wrote back telling him that Barcelona is a very beautiful city and that he should enjoy his stay there.
I hope that he will write back some day and perhaps he will.... someday.

Namaste!

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