In the long run, it´s for the better!
A week ago today S and I came to a decision to end our relationship. It is sad but I had to make a stand for myself. I could not go on to be a secret, something that had to be hidden away because of fear, fear that his children would leave him or have no further conctact with him. His fear is so great that he decided against love
Unfortunately he had a similar situation years ago with his older children. His former wife (mother of his younger children) thought that now that they had children, the older ones should not be included in the new family and here is when it gets bizarre. His children did not want to have contact with him since he had a new family and that they were not longer welcome in their lives.
I understand that this was very difficult for him, he suffered a lot because the older children decided to no longer have contact with his father. He nowadays has kind of good contact with his daughter but his oldest son has not yet forgiven him, something I can understand.
The saddest part is that he now transferred this situation into our relationship and that is the problem. He think that it will happen again, that his younger children would turn away from him. I think that the true reason is his former wife.
She repeatedly has been stalking him to come back, controlling what he is doing and where his is and with whom, the list goes on and on but the problem is he, he who does not know how to speak up for himself and to finally set a stop to her. The responsibility lies with him to speak up and as long as he is not doing that, this situation will prolong and maybe he will never will escape this.
I told him that he is making a decision out of fear and that is the biggest problem. Desisions made out of fear are bound to fail and will be something you can regret a lifetime. I was very confused because on the one hand he talked to me like I was his girlfriend and he told me he loved me and I believe that he still does, but his behavior was sometime a little irrational. When I asked him how he saw me, what was I to him, a girlfriend, a partner, a friend, he could not answer and that is understandable because he could not concieve that he and I could have a relationship that is long and ongoing
.
Even though it hurts and still does I could not go on having this relationship under this circumstances, so I told him that I can not follow his path, that I have to go my on path and that is a different one. I told him that I loved him and that he is throwing away maybe the best thing that ever happened to him after being a father.
I´m still sad, but it comes and goes, but sometimes I break out in tears but I had to make a stand for myself. I have a value, and self respect and I´m not someone hides away out of fear.
I still believe that he will come to his sences and will come back. I had a message about 1 month ago and I think that around Christmas he will be with me again.
To stand up for yourself has a price, but be someone who has to be hidden away, that price is higher. It´s hard to stand up for yourself but in the long run, it will be worth it!
Namaste!
Unfortunately he had a similar situation years ago with his older children. His former wife (mother of his younger children) thought that now that they had children, the older ones should not be included in the new family and here is when it gets bizarre. His children did not want to have contact with him since he had a new family and that they were not longer welcome in their lives.
I understand that this was very difficult for him, he suffered a lot because the older children decided to no longer have contact with his father. He nowadays has kind of good contact with his daughter but his oldest son has not yet forgiven him, something I can understand.
The saddest part is that he now transferred this situation into our relationship and that is the problem. He think that it will happen again, that his younger children would turn away from him. I think that the true reason is his former wife.
She repeatedly has been stalking him to come back, controlling what he is doing and where his is and with whom, the list goes on and on but the problem is he, he who does not know how to speak up for himself and to finally set a stop to her. The responsibility lies with him to speak up and as long as he is not doing that, this situation will prolong and maybe he will never will escape this.
I told him that he is making a decision out of fear and that is the biggest problem. Desisions made out of fear are bound to fail and will be something you can regret a lifetime. I was very confused because on the one hand he talked to me like I was his girlfriend and he told me he loved me and I believe that he still does, but his behavior was sometime a little irrational. When I asked him how he saw me, what was I to him, a girlfriend, a partner, a friend, he could not answer and that is understandable because he could not concieve that he and I could have a relationship that is long and ongoing
.
Even though it hurts and still does I could not go on having this relationship under this circumstances, so I told him that I can not follow his path, that I have to go my on path and that is a different one. I told him that I loved him and that he is throwing away maybe the best thing that ever happened to him after being a father.
I´m still sad, but it comes and goes, but sometimes I break out in tears but I had to make a stand for myself. I have a value, and self respect and I´m not someone hides away out of fear.
I still believe that he will come to his sences and will come back. I had a message about 1 month ago and I think that around Christmas he will be with me again.
To stand up for yourself has a price, but be someone who has to be hidden away, that price is higher. It´s hard to stand up for yourself but in the long run, it will be worth it!
13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Corinthians 13Namaste!
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