A big cry

Tomorrow we are celebrating our 1 month as a couple. It´s been an intresting month where a few things have appeared  in front of me, fotgotten feelings and hidden emotions. it´s not that S is to blame in any way, it´s me! I know, klichee, but it´s true.

 I still have certain problem with my self esteem and that is the problem, not S. 

 But I had a weekend alone, for myself and it finally erupted in an big cry and yelling and screaming in a pillow, I do not want my neighbours to ge scared, and it felt better afterwards. I understood that all this I´m feeling comes from a place that I never want to go again. A place where I thought bad of myself, full of self doubt. But not anymore. All that happens to me happens for a reason and I have created this situation. S has merely been the spark to ignite the fire and I know that he is here to stay. I love him. 

 He is still having problems with his ex wife who does not want to let go, but in the long run she will accept it and move on... but I do not know when. I´m going to sit down, lay back and just sit still in the boat.
Have a nice evening.

 Namaste!

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