Life is hard, sometimes very hard!

I have not been able to write for a long time but I can not blame it on not having time, it´s has been just a period in my life when I have too much to think about and no energy to write it down.

 It has been a time for so many feelings, it seems that I´m always wearing my feelings like a piece of garment that I can not take off.

 I went to a funeral the other day, it was for a person that I did not know that well but still he was a person that will be missed. The person holding the memorial talked about how his children saw him, how he went to the soccergames with the boy and the way he treated his daughter with so much love and care.
I was very upset about that because that is something I would have wished that my father would have done when I was a child but he only had expectations and hopes that I would turn out how he planed it for me, but I did not and never will! 
That feeling made me cry that I will never expirience that with my father and I was sad of not having that and sad that I will not be able to say that about my father when he leaves this earth.

 I feel as if I could start crying every moment, I don´t need a reason, it´s just there just for me to pick up and feel it. 
I feel like that all the time, and it´s not very uplifting but I think it is necessary that I´m feeling all this at once.

I think that will be all for today, I´m not feeling very well and I just had a cry moments ago so I will leave it here.

 Life sometimes is hard, very hard!

 Namaste!

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